Alla - Me not expecting anything on the first date doesn't mean I am not going to try anything. If I get an opportunity, to ya tormozit’ ne budu. Speaking of "no" and a "no-no" game: Girls are also people and as far as I know, most of them have normal reflexes, desires and usually enjoy good sex. However, usually, they would rather die then admit that they are attracted to a guy. Therefore, some girls usually play a "no-no" game so they won't look slutty. Ever heard this joke: When a girl says "No" - it's a "May be" When a girl says "May be" - it's a "Yes" When a girl says "Yes" - it's not a girl. There is a difference between a "NO!" and "Oh let's not...oh no...oh not here...oh...oh yes...yes...YES...YES PLEASE (HARDER, FASTER etc)!" See the difference? The first one (sometimes accompanied by a slap, push or a kick in the groin for the less understanding ones) - is a real "No". The second one is a typical "no-no" game.

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I hate to admit this, as a girl, but Tolik has a point (of course, as a true girl, I will never ever admit that in public )! Very funny post in general. ~~I have to believe that sin can make a better man.~~

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Tolik, Thanks a lot for your comment about my post :) Lena

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typical no-no game, huh.. well, usually if a guy doesn't understand "no" the first time after getting kicked/elbowed/whatever, and still attempts the 2nd time, he's either very dense or very horny or just got paroled and hasn't seen a woman in 8-10years.. or all 3.. no.. seriously.. gender relations are highly complicated, it's true. In order to uncomplicate them, I've always tried to be very, extremely straight-forward with any potential partner about what I am and AM NOT looking for.. hopefully they get it. If I want it, I say "yes." Does that make me not a girl..? Golly gosh, I hope not!.. (oh people people.. nam nujno vsem ustroit' kollektivniy prosmotr of all the 4 seasons of "Sex and the City"..! available on DVD at a Blockbuster near you! Tam stol'ko mudrosti po povodu vsex etix tem.. aj starshno..!)

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I prefer straightforward people; therefore I do not ask the same question twice. Alla, you're definitely a girl, but unfortunately, not many girls share your point of view.

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What I usually do to make it absolutely clear what's going on is to respond with either an "affirmative" or a "negative". Sometimes I also use 1's and 0's for the programmers. It also helps to just call out the base number beforehand so that way the guy knows exactly what's going on. Then I have these flash cards numbered 1-10 so afterwards I flip up a card for his rating and I also use another one for his ranking among all the other guys who have previously reached this level. This way he knows literally exactly where he stands. Then I am always yelling out directions and numbers as we are going along.

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There have been some fascinating studies showing that women often don’t tell what they really feel and don’t practice what they preach. Furthermore, they don’t do this out of spite or intention to deceive. Instead, some subconscious phenomena compel them to misrepresent themselves. For example, when asked which qualities they look for in a potential mate, the most common replies included sense of humor, honesty, caring, sensitivity, and intelligence. Notice the absence of looks, money, popularity, and social status. The same women were tracked to determine what sort of men they really date and how long their relationships last. Well surprise, surprise! Most women had a hard time dating typical nice, intelligent, caring guys who catered to their whims; such relationships didn’t tend to last very long. Why did this happen? Why were these women taking less time to dispose of their “dream guys” than of the incessant bouquets sent by their naпve suitors? It’s believed that the problem lies in that nice guys unwittingly presented little challenge and excitement to their girlfriends. These guys’ behavior may have been cute and sweet at first, but grew dull and nauseating over time. Many women were literally spoiled by the constant attention. Clearly, the above findings support the popular adage “nice guys finish last.” So… What sort of guys did these women really end up having long-lasting relationships with? A fair-sized group of women turned out to be gold-diggers and went for the guys with some dough regardless of whether they truly cared for them. However, believe it or not, most went for the rugged, bike-riding, tattoo-spotted bums. Some of these relationships were abusive, and despite that, they still lasted longer than relationships with nice guys! Also, women were found to be far more likely to return to an abusive boyfriend than what they described as their “ideal” guy! Apparently the “livin’ on the edge” excitement was just too much for these women to give up, even if it meant suffering from abuse and brushes with the law. It’s theorized that women prefer brutes because they instinctively believe that their tough, aggressive nature makes them perfect candidates to protect and care for women. While this was certainly true in prehistoric times when might made right, it doesn’t seem true in our modern society. This leads to an interesting “nature vs. nurture,” or “biology vs. conditioning” argument in an attempt to explain women’s behavior. That’s one can of worms that will be left unmolested… for now. Suffice to say now that this problem is about as tractable as the one of actually understanding women. Okay… now why did I just write that? Oh, yeah… all that to question poor Alla. Kinda like using a jackhammer to kill a mosquito. Kostya, you’re right – there are very few straightforward women. A pity, but true. Not to say that they don’t exist – of course they do, and above studies are merely used to illustrate the typical case. There are some gems in the rough, and if anyone finds them, feel free to PM me their phone numbers. As for Alla, I’d like to see that study done on you! Are you really as straightforward as you say you are? If so, more power to ya! Until then, I’ll just have to see it for myself.

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Kostya – You are doing the right thing. I don't think any guy would ask twice...or even once. This would be pretty weird. The trick is DOing. Hermes – I can really simplify your study: Men should be RELIABLE and girls BEAUTIFUL. It is sort of like this: a girl is a beautiful picture and her man is a frame. Men have to be strong (physically, emotionally and financially), this is usually achieved through having will power, integrity and mental development. Everything else will come (including girls). …now to tie it up to our topic: who needs a study (it’s not a manual), just relax be yourself and enjoy your dates. Oh, and by the way, don’t ask permission to try anything with your date (like “May I kiss you?”), just go for it. If you ask, the answer would most likely be “No” (and not only from Alla).

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Whoa there, Tolik! Don’t you think a lot of women would disagree with your assessment of them as pictures? There are plenty of strong, independent, and yes, reliable women who support their men. Not to mention that some of them are quite ugly. All jokes aside, that doesn’t take away from their other qualities, which are far more important than looks. Both women and men should be evaluated as human beings outside of any boundaries, or as you put it, “frames,” defined by their perceived gender roles.

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Watch out, Lena! Some people might miss your sarcasm. Unless…

quote:

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Originally posted by Elena: What I usually do to make it absolutely clear what's going on is to respond with either an "affirmative" or a "negative". Sometimes I also use 1's and 0's for the programmers. It also helps to just call out the base number beforehand so that way the guy knows exactly what's going on. Then I have these flash cards numbered 1-10 so afterwards I flip up a card for his rating and I also use another one for his ranking among all the other guys who have previously reached this level. This way he knows literally exactly where he stands. Then I am always yelling out directions and numbers as we are going along.

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Hermes – This was metaphorically speaking. Just a simplification of what we are looking for and in no way defining anyone. Aside from your pretty strong description of less attractive girls, if you’d be truthful with yourself you’d realize that you are looking for “looks” also. I can bet that when you see a gorgeous women on the street you are more than interested, even though you have no idea about her other qualities. I also like attractive girls. However, from my experience, you get used to beauty very quickly… and if there is nothing else behind it – it will be very boring for both people. I’d rather be with an Ok – looking girl who is healthy, interesting and fun to be with instead of somebody who was blesses by genetics and has nothing else going on in her life. Therefore, If you are with a girl whom you adore (for any reasons) – she is your happiness – your “picture” … and you better be able to be her “frame”.

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As far as a yes-no game is concerned - we all play it, guys and girls, so don't even try to deny it! We all try to be straightforward, but no matter how straighforward girls are, many guys will still make an attempt, to a certain point. Frankly, I think its an admirable quality if a guy is somewhat persistent. Now, I'm not talking about sex, but like a date. Very persistent could turn into obsessive/stalking very fast, so there is a fine line. Actually, there are so many fine lines when it comes to a relationship between a man and a woman. In fact, I think we adjust our fine lines a little bit, depending on the person that we are involved with. As far as qualities that women are looking for... there are many women, and , therefore, there will be answers to that question. To make a generalization for my circle of females, we really do look for a decent man, with a good sense of humor, kind and loving. Look are not that important, really . Nowadays it has become almost a requirement that he be financially stable (please note that this does not mean a millionaire). As far as you guys are concerned.... I can only make an obzervations, so I could be wrong.... but it seems to me that men are attracted to looks at first. Like Tolik mentioned, if there is nothing else there, one gets tired of the looks, but initially, it seems like looks do matter, a lot!! Go ahead, telll me I'm wrong ! Bring it on!! (Just kiddin) ~~I have to believe that sin can make a better man.~~

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Ok.. gosh darn-it..! Being straight-forward now: We want a man who's financially comfortable (We do! Let's not deny it! Maybe not 6-figures, but well-enough off to spring for a trip to Europe every now and again. And shopping at Phipps is a must!) We want a man who's good in bed (We do! Let's not deny that please! 'nuff said) We want a man who'll be our "frame", our strength, our physical and emotional support... blah blah.. Oh, he also has to be NOT very good looking, shtob ottenyat' nashu krasotu.. Nu kak govoritsa, "Mujchina luchshe obez'yani - uje krasavets." Well, there's what women want in a nutshell. Sense of humor.. kind.. loving.. who needs all that..??!! Hermes, straight-forward enough for you? If there's any other testing I need to undergo for you to be sure that I'm telling the truth, tak pojalusta.. vsegda rada..

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Elena, Wow, that was go-o-o-d Alla, Ok.. gosh darn-it..! Being straight-forward now: We want a man who's financially comfortable (We do! Let's not deny it! Maybe not 6-figures, but well-enough off to spring for a trip to Europe every now and again. And shopping at Phipps is a must!) Hm, what exactly women see at Phipps, that they can't get at K'Mart ? It's a same stuff, only labeled differently We want a man who's good in bed (We do! Let's not deny that please! 'nuff said) What do you mean "'nuff said" ? Define good in bed ? Otherwise it's just a common fraze... We want a man who'll be our "frame", our strength, our physical and emotional support... blah blah.. Sterotipes, stereotipes..... Man want same things in a woman Oh, he also has to be NOT very good looking, shtob ottenyat' nashu krasotu.. Nu kak govoritsa, "Mujchina luchshe obez'yani - uje krasavets." Grub, wonyuch and wolosat :)))))) Well, there's what women want in a nutshell. Sense of humor.. kind.. loving.. who needs all that..??!! Ye, who ? Hermes, straight-forward enough for you? If there's any other testing I need to undergo for you to be sure that I'm telling the truth, tak pojalusta.. vsegda rada.. You go girl !

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- Независимость - это когда в 20-й раз наступаешь на одни и те же грабли, а русские уже ни при чем....

KGB, K-Mart is quickly sinking, but Target on the other hand.. vot eto daaa! Vot tam to mojno.. eto.. priodet'sya..! .. and as far as the definition of "good in bed".. - oh god.. when you have it, you know!

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