Actually, pretty funny discussion
I enjoyed reading some replies. Elena - pyatyorka s plyusom, that was very cute
I'd lvoe to see your flashcards at work - lemme know when u have next date, that must be very amusing
I can only imagine any guy's reaction if that was ever to happen to them for real
Ya dolgo ne chital etot topic voobsche, nu i, sootvetstvenno, ne postal nichego syuda. Vot stalo skuchno - reshil chek it out. Nu ne soglasen ya s topicom v tselom - ya schitayu chto ne suschestvuet starndartnogo "set of rules" chego mozhno chego mel'zya, chto expected i chto net. A te lyudi, kto veryat v (a samo s soboj i starayutsya follow) etot set of rules are pretty vaine and shallow. That's my personal opinion.
Soglasno horoshej russkoj pogovorke - "po odyozhke vstrechayut a po umu provozhayut". S etim ya soglasen. Kazhdij otsenivaet potsentsial'nih partnyorov "po odyozhke" - bud' to looks ili figura, ili odezhda, ili povedenie, ili mashina - karoche whatever meets the eye at the first glance. Takim obrazom mi opredelyaem svoj interes k cheloveku. A uzhe potom v protsesse obscheniya i communikatsii potihon'ku (ili srazu) opredelyaetsya prodolzhitel'nost' nashego intersea. Zachastuyu, uvi, takim obrazom mi upuskaem teh kandidatov, kto bil kak bi ryadom, i po vsem drugim parametram kak raz yavlyalsya "the best match" no bil nami ne zamechen.
Ved' trudno opredelit' chuvstvo yumora cheloveka, ne poobschavshis' hot' kakoe to vremya, tak zhe kak i trudno opredelit' obschie interesi bez obscheniya. I tochno tak zhe trudno opredelit' finansovoe polozhenie po odezhde ili po mashine - veschi mogut bit' kuplenni libo ot izlishka deneg (zachastuyu roditel'skih) libo napravlenno, s tselyu "pick up chicks" (or vice versa). K sozhaleniyu (ili k schastyu?) eti postupki diktuyutsya nam samimi nami zhe - nashe vospriyatie i mishlenie formiruetsya nashim zhe society. Poluchaetsya zamknutij krug: "Ya ne hochu play games i ya hochu bit' straight forward, BUT I will "dress-to-impress" chtobi privlech' vnimanie, t.k. eto vsyo - part of the game (oops), i ya ni za chto ne skazhu chto ya konkretno dumayu, t.k. on/ona sam/a dozhen/na dogadat'sya". Eto splosh' i ryadom.
By "dress-to-impress" ya opyat' zhe imeyu vvidu ne tol'ko literally odezhdu, a vsyo chto "meets the eye" - vneshnyuyu obolochku. "image", "status", "brand name" - vsyo eto "part of the game". There are more people who choose to "play that game" than those who choose to be "themselves". Although I do not believe there is ever a pure "player" or a pure "non-player" types.
Chto zhe kasaetsya kto skoka poluchaet and financial stability... Tut tozhe svoi controversies: on one hand it has been said here that a man should be financially stable and it is important. Sounds like a valid point. On the other hand, those women that do find "financially stable men" are also running a risk of being called "gold-diggers". Ya prosto dumayu chto vse eti yarliki prikleivayutsya lyud'mi na drugih lyudej chisto iz-za zavisti.
But the bottom line is - vse eti "what is expected/allowed" razgovori - eto vsyo pustoe. Ya schitayu chto kazhdij date is a personal experience i ne obyazatel'no rely on other experiences of other people to built your own future (proshu ne putat' s 'uchit'sya na chuzhih oshibkah' - eto otnositsya k tem oshibkam kotorie you can already actually identify). Inache bi mozhno bilo prosto sostavit' odnu konkretnuyu anketu i zapolnyat' drug drugu - a potom reshat' based on answers hodit' li na date ili net
No realistically - games will always be there, 'dress-to-impress' will always be there, and "what to do ont he first date" temi - tozhe vsegda budut
"Dress-to-impress" approach is pretty much like a resume and a first date is pretty much like an interview - stol'ko klassov est' po interview and resume skills, chto ne smeshno. I vse mi vsegda pripisivaem chto to v resume to make it look better, i staraemsya na interview davat' "pravil'nie" otveti na voprosi.
